"I prefer the pen.  I totally dig it out and *fart noise with her mouth* .  It's pretty gross actually.  Kind of like landscaping."
-One of my coworkers. 

"I am buried in yogurt and whole milk....no one is going to want it because it's been tainted by dairy."
-Some other coworker

"Drug induced reanimation..."
-Still yet a different coworker.